(In order)
  1. Sorry having sex with us was so tiring
  2. Sorry it made you feel ashamed
  3. Sorry I didn’t come back when you asked
  4. Sorry I didn’t know you were just fooling around
  5. Sorry I was a liar
  6. Sorry I didn’t love hanging out with your friends
  7. Sorry I did drugs and scared you
  8. Sorry I had a tattoo and two pet snakes
  9. Sorry you didn’t want to be alone
  10. Sorry my look made you think I was cool but it wasn’t real
  11. Sorry you figured I’d break your heart next summer
  12. Sorry I was eighteen
  13. Sorry I lived in Japan
  14. Sorry you think it’s all my fault, son
  15. Sorry I was half-Japanese and that’s a special thing for you
  16. Sorry I’d never heard of Green Day... I have now
  17. Sorry I was a lesbian
  18. Sorry that before you figured out I was a lesbian, you fantasized about us getting married and having a whole life together
  19. Sorry I said “like” too much
  20. Sorry you liked me too much
  21. Sorry you metaphorically put me in a jar and, your words, I withered and died
  22. Sorry that made you sad