Meaningful gifts that require minimal effort
  1. Leave more than 2 drops of milk in the carton for his coffee.
  2. Mow the lawn
  3. Do not fix anything as a "gift"
  4. Don't ask for a ride
  5. Don't whine
  6. If Dad looks busy, let him be
  7. Do not buy a tie
  8. When mom makes breakfast, don't eat all the bacon before Dad sits down.
  9. Don't stand next to him, staring, while he is napping to ask if you can change the channel.
  10. Refrain from expressing how terrible your life is because you "need" (enter moronic want here)
  11. Sit during celebratory family meal without snapchatting, tweeting or generally taking pictures of yourself.
  12. Say "Happy Father's Day" and smile.