To my approval:
  1. Miller High Life
    Champaign of beers, champion of a good afternoon buzz. Keep these chilled! Tastes like wet dog if it's too warm OR if you're drinking other cheap beers.
  2. Bud Light ( and bud heavy )
    Bud light bc it is constantly tied for #1 and NOTHING is cooler than Spudz McKinzey
  3. Schaefer
    The actual beer to have when you're having more than one. Not as malty as bud light and less hoppy than pbr.
  4. PBR
    The one to have if you're having more than one in the span of 20 minutes.
  5. Old Style
    When in Chicago, Old Style skips ranks and heads straight to #1 otherwise.. It's #5
  6. Lone Star
    Yay rebus puzzle! I could drink lone star for 72 hours straight.
  7. Modelo silver can
    It's great! Put a lime in it!
  8. Tecate
    It's good! Put a lime in it!
  9. Narraganset
    If it's the only beer that isn't $9 then it's the only beer for me, though I'd prefer not.
  10. Coors light
    Tastes like apple juice now, meh, though the fading of the Rockies logo from blue to silver as the bottle/can warms up serves as an excellent hourglass for slamming your beer.
  11. Ballantine
    The hoppiest and cheapest 40 oz that my lips will ever touch. The 22oz glass bottles have a rebus puzzle under the cap. Only drink during heat waves, and in public.
  12. Genesee cream ale
  13. Game Time
    7-11's branded beer that someone bought as a joke on a camping trip and we all contracted small pox from it.