A Few Facts About Me

I feel like my personality gets lost in magazine profiles and CNBC interviews. Here's some pure, uncut Jeremy
  1. I have a PhD from Stanford in "Applied Crushing It"
    I tried to drop out, but the school offered me a $2 million a year retainer if I finished my studies.
  2. Time Magazine once called me "Stalin in Warby Parkers"
    I like to think it's because of my killer business sense, and the fact that I threatened all those Foxconn workers after a Christmastime shortage of iPhones.
  3. I have two sons, Inspiration (age 10) and Steve Jr (age 5)
    Steve Jr is great. Inspiration... well, he doesn't live up to his name.
  4. Dustin Moskovitz and I bought an abandoned water park in Santa Clara and filled every pool and slide with money, just like my hero Scrooge McDuck
    That was a magical summer.
  5. You're very welcome for the iPhone
    It was the result of a drunken bar bet between me, Steve, and Jon about who could find the easiest way to revolutionize life as we know it.
  6. My private jet is self-flying, and self-aware
    Her name is Martha, and she is delightful at making small talk over the Pacific.
  7. My upcoming children's novel series, "Ayn Rand Kids Mysteries," has already been optioned by Lionsgate to be made into a weekly series
    I believe that America's children sorely lack in objectivist education.