How to Be Me in Five Easy Steps

Inspired by @gwcoffey
  1. 1.
    Create something so revolutionary that the entire world must pay tribute to your mad genius.
  2. 2.
    Own enough yachts to technically qualify as a luxury cruise line.
  3. 3.
    Catfish Marissa Mayer into thinking she's in an online relationship with "Kevin."
  4. 4.
    Sacrifice a Prius to the money gods every morning before your breakfast Soylent.
  5. 5.
    Be very, very disappointed in one of your children.