Overheard at Steve Ballmer's Helicarrier Party

I spent Saturday at a party on Steve Ballmer's floating yacht/war machine. It was a lively day of cornhole and innovation. Here were some of the fun things I overheard.
  1. "That Martin Shkreli has some pretty innovative ideas. I like his style."
    Travis Kalanick, on healthcare
  2. "I paid $280,000 for those bones, and I'll be damned if I let those jerkoffs at the Bureau of Indian Affairs tell me how to spend my money."
    Ben Silbermann, on the role of government
  3. "Look, if they're dead by the time they get to me, I ain't paying."
    Peter Thiel, on exotic bird ownership
  4. "I own the Mavericks. Wanna bang? No? That's cool. I'll take a vodka tonic then."
    Anonymous, on romance
  5. "I told Steve that if he took one more step towards me, I would waste his ass. Well, we all know how that turned out."
    Carly Fiorina, on competition
  6. "No, Larry, you can't hunt people on my island any more. It's strictly catch and release now."
    Eric Schmidt, on sports
  7. "Burning man was great this year. I took shrooms and ate an entire palm tree. That shit changes your life, man."
    Evan Spiegel, on spirituality
  8. "Anyone seen Sergey? Of course not! We didn't invite him!"
    Everyone, on how much Sergey sucks