Weird Stuff My Kids Say

My boys (Inspiration and Steve Jr) are a constant source of both joy and frustration. Here's some of the stranger things they've said to me.
  1. "I love you, daddy!"
    I keep trying to teach Inspiration that love is best left for objects, not other people.
  2. "Can we have chicken nuggets for dinner?"
    My kids are on a strictly-Soylent diet. They're getting all the nutrients they need. I have no idea who's filling their heads with notions of chicken nuggets.
  3. "My computer is broken. Can you fix it?"
    What do I look like, an Apple Genius tech? My boys need to learn that the idea man isn't the one who fixes their technical problems.
  4. "I don't want to go to school! The other kids make fun of me!"
    I try to teach my kids to be post-childhood, and to remember who their enemies are now so they can crush them later in life. They seem to have a really hard time with this one (especially Inspiration).
  5. "On the eve of the summer solstice he shall rise again to rule us. Hic a mortuis resurrexit."
    Steve Jr keeps saying this in his sleep. I can't be sure, but I think something exciting is coming to the Pivot household soon!