How to Have a Successful, Hip Restaurant

  1. Give it a catchy name, the fewer the syllables, the better
  2. Exposed brick and/or concrete
    Chipped or faded paint on the exposed material is always a plus
  3. Salvaged wood!
    Make sure you put as much salvaged, stained wood as possible in your restaurant
  4. Dim Edison-style lightbulbs in mason jars
    It is also acceptable to leave them naked
  5. Never accept reservations
  6. Servers should wear flannel (this might just be a Portland thing) or button downs with the sleeves rolled up.
    Bonus points if the servers have several visible tattoos
  7. Male servers should have interesting facial hair.
    Large beards, old-timey mustaches, and mutton chops all work
  8. Water should come in a glass bottle with one of those white and orange stoppers clipped to the top
  9. The menu should be no more than one page
    Preferably it will be clipped to a piece of salvaged wood
  10. Prices should be one number without a dollar sign
    How not to do it: Burger...$11.00. How to do it: Burger...11. It's acceptable to use 50 cent increments but not recommended. Example: Burger...11.5
  11. Give information about each ingredient
    Which farm does your pork chop come from? Are the pears local? Make sure you include these in your description of each menu item.
  12. Make sure to include something that's house-cured
    House-smoked, house-pickled, and house-infused items are also recommended
  13. Radicchio should be somewhere on the menu