Being The Daughter of a Narcissist Mother

  1. Do something a normal person does. Immediately feel guilty because is it normal? Idk. Maybe. Maybe not. But I'm usually wrong, so I'm definitely wrong about this.
  2. Perfectionism is key because mistake are not optional... Who cares about stress, lack of sleep, sanity. I completed the task 100% correctly. You cannot find fault in my work, and if you can, then I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time... After I fix this.
  3. I'm an expert at logically/rationally explaining reality... Because Narcissist's live in their own non-logical delusions and reality must be explained... Even though they never listen or want to understand it. I will somehow find a way to say this so that understanding will happen.
  4. Boundaries are a thing I don't understand because my boundaries were constantly violated growing up. I hope I haven't violated anyone else's boundaries, but I probably have because I don't understand.
  5. I'm always in terrible, abusive relationships because that's what love looks like, right? Boundaries being violated, being asked to give without getting anything in return. Never being good enough and needing to apologize for existing.
  6. Being gaslighted. All. The. Time. Questioning yourself, reality, feeling crazy as if it was normal.
  7. Then, one day, after enough therapy, and with the help of compassionate friends and family, I have saw behind the curtain and I felt like an utter, total failure. But, I also understood my life, how I got here, why I made the decisions I made, and for the first time I can heal knowing that I'm not the problem.
  8. I'm 35 and just now realizing, I'm not the problem and I never was. I don't know how to exist in the world when I'm not the problem. Time to get some boundaries, stop putting up with shit, and live, for real.