Things I learned binge watching Christmas movies o Netflix this weekend

  1. If you're a single women over 30 your occupation will ALWAYS be a real estate agent.
  2. The only way a girl can attract a male model lover is if his first love is dead, he's dead (and a sensitive ghost), or she's dead and haunting him.
  3. The straight man of your dreams is hiding behind the gayest sweater in plain view
  4. There is always some sort of countdown element to make this love thing work. They have until midnight etc. This is a metaphor for quick drying eggs. Love can't wait ladies.
  5. If you are guy with GQ cover looks, your occupation will ALWAYS be bar tender.
  6. To sum up, love is out there for everyone. You just have to look for it in the plane between this world and the next. Get off tinder and start trolling haunted house singles mixer