1. I had taken a really long nap and was about to take another, I just felt like I needed to accomplish something
  2. I remembered the rush and freedom of sheering my face off
  3. I was pretty dirty so my beard felt itchy and gross, homie needed to shower
  4. This song came up on shuffle and I decided it was my beard saying "Why do you let me stay here on your face?"
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  5. I was in the mood to hear people be like "WHAT?!"
  6. It's likely that my fam's Christmas card pic has already been taken featuring my beard so I didn't need to save it for that
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  7. I'm good enough friends with the guy in the liquor store at Walgreens that he'll recognize me and know that despite my lack of beard I'm still just as "21" as I was when he sold me root beer whiskey
  8. In conclusion
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  9. 👶🏼
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