1. I had taken a really long nap and was about to take another, I just felt like I needed to accomplish something
  2. I remembered the rush and freedom of sheering my face off
  3. I was pretty dirty so my beard felt itchy and gross, homie needed to shower
  4. This song came up on shuffle and I decided it was my beard saying "Why do you let me stay here on your face?"
  5. I was in the mood to hear people be like "WHAT?!"
  6. It's likely that my fam's Christmas card pic has already been taken featuring my beard so I didn't need to save it for that
  7. I'm good enough friends with the guy in the liquor store at Walgreens that he'll recognize me and know that despite my lack of beard I'm still just as "21" as I was when he sold me root beer whiskey
  8. In conclusion
  9. 👶🏼