REASONS I SHAVED MY BEARD TODAY
- •I had taken a really long nap and was about to take another, I just felt like I needed to accomplish something
- •I remembered the rush and freedom of sheering my face off
- •I was pretty dirty so my beard felt itchy and gross, homie needed to shower
- •This song came up on shuffle and I decided it was my beard saying "Why do you let me stay here on your face?"
- •I was in the mood to hear people be like "WHAT?!"
- •It's likely that my fam's Christmas card pic has already been taken featuring my beard so I didn't need to save it for that
- •I'm good enough friends with the guy in the liquor store at Walgreens that he'll recognize me and know that despite my lack of beard I'm still just as "21" as I was when he sold me root beer whiskey
- •In conclusion