THINGS LEAH REMINI IS DOING RIGHT NOW, PROBABLY

Well it's midnight in Studio City, CA (where she lives. I googled it.) so what's the queen of queens up to?
  1. Just finished a chapter in The Martian, she wants to finish it before she sees the movie
  2. Since the book takes place in space, her mind wanders to Xenu, the dictator of the galactic confederacy according to the teachings of scientology
  3. "He's not real" she reminds herself. "He can't hurt you."
  4. Then she remembers that Tom Cruise IS real and can hurt her, but probably won't. Tom doesn't seem THAT into Scientology anymore.
  5. She takes a sip of water
  6. She tries to remember how many times she kissed Kevin James. Too many. She chuckles remembering his body.
  7. Turns on her white noise machine.
  8. Has an idea, writes "Queen of queens, it's a spinoff where I'M the mail man and Kevin is dead," in her dream journal. She thinks for a moment and adds, "Still takes place in Queens."
  9. She goes to scratch a thetan but then remembers that those also aren't real.
  10. "Man not being a scientologist anymore is great!" She says aloud. "I can't wait to think of new ways to open up about my harrowing escape from Scientology!"
  11. Now she's just thinking of new details she can share about life in Scientology and also wondering who would even care to hear all of these new details
  12. Me. I care, Leah.
  13. Good night Leah Remini