THINGS LEAH REMINI IS DOING RIGHT NOW, PROBABLY
Well it's midnight in Studio City, CA (where she lives. I googled it.) so what's the queen of queens up to?
- •Just finished a chapter in The Martian, she wants to finish it before she sees the movie
- •Since the book takes place in space, her mind wanders to Xenu, the dictator of the galactic confederacy according to the teachings of scientology
- •"He's not real" she reminds herself. "He can't hurt you."
- •Then she remembers that Tom Cruise IS real and can hurt her, but probably won't. Tom doesn't seem THAT into Scientology anymore.
- •She takes a sip of water
- •She tries to remember how many times she kissed Kevin James. Too many. She chuckles remembering his body.
- •Turns on her white noise machine.
- •Has an idea, writes "Queen of queens, it's a spinoff where I'M the mail man and Kevin is dead," in her dream journal. She thinks for a moment and adds, "Still takes place in Queens."
- •She goes to scratch a thetan but then remembers that those also aren't real.
- •"Man not being a scientologist anymore is great!" She says aloud. "I can't wait to think of new ways to open up about my harrowing escape from Scientology!"
- •Now she's just thinking of new details she can share about life in Scientology and also wondering who would even care to hear all of these new details
- •Me. I care, Leah.
- •Good night Leah Remini