WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP, CHRONOLOGICALLY

Every aspiration I've ever had ever in life ever, chronologically!
  1. Astronaut
    In retrospect, more like astroNOT. Did u know astronauts are like scientists? Not about that lyfe.
  2. An artist
    Like in kindergarten cus I could paint shit and cut shit real good
  3. Sumo wrestler
    The reason I got fat or the excuse I made for becoming fat. Either way, I was a chubby kid.
  4. An ~Architect~
    We learned about the guy who designed the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in first grade and then we made pyramids out of tooth pics and marshmallows. Never had much fun at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, but I love tooth pics and marshmallows.
  5. A priest
    Never rly wanted to but felt I was being called to it. Actually. Father Tim told my mom I should and he had very piercing eyes! Lol!
  6. The President
    Ended a friendship cus a kid didn't think I could REALLY be president. Showed him when I became freshman class president (and was swiftly dethroned for lack of school spirit, but it's ok because being president wasn't at all like what Geena Davis and George W. Bush made it seem)
  7. A big brother
    Jokes on me my parents are old
  8. Psychologist/Psychiatrist
    Literally wanted to be a psychologist in second grade like a fucking weirdo. Asked my sister the difference between psychologist and psychiatrist and I don't remember which is which or which I wanted to be TBH. WAIT actually I know one can write prescriptions and one can't.
  9. Criminal Profiler who worked WITH the FBI but wasn't technically in the FBI
    Yup. Watched a lot of crime shows in 5th-ish grade.
  10. Famous for no reason
    V sad, but I am a child of my generation.
  11. The person who discovers aliens are real
    On accident.
  12. An author maybe?
    The problem was I don't care about books.
  13. Screenwriter
    I watched videos of The Office writers on the picket line in 2008 and my head exploded. I was like DUH.
  14. ... Marketing? Or like.... Journalism....
    A lie I told adults/strangers for a second before I was sure I was going to Emerson to pursue my actual ✨✨✨truth✨✨✨
  15. The best man at my brothers wedding
    Finally comin true y'all. July 30th here I come!
  16. Person with a podcast
    On the side