Why Own A Smartphone?

Please let me know what I left out.. Thanks!
  1. Make time go faster at work, No time for grammer and spellin, Makes it okay to talk to yourself in public, Never miss a status update or new li.st, If you have no life you got one now!
  2. Pocket porn, Piss off old people, Lose your ability to ever navigate on your own, Makes driving less boring, Communicate while taking a shit,
  3. Become a restaurant critic, Build your nonverbal communication skills, Feel superior when standing next to someone with a flip phone, Fake gold and diamonds for your new case
  4. Stay connected even while at the movies!