1. You'll come for our two-hour layovers, but you'll stay for our four-hour layovers!
  2. 1 out of every 4 bathroom sinks works - REGARDLESS!
  3. Mechanical issues on planes are no problem! We're Detroit! We build cars which are like road planes!
  4. Trying to decide between Qdoba and Chick-Fil-a? You'll be here long enough for at least two meals! No need to choose!
  5. Try our exciting new thrill ride the Inter-Gate Express Tram! Or save even more time on our moving sidewalk portions!
  6. All our shops and eateries sell only Pepsi products! Pepsi: When Fourth Choice Is Good Enough!®
  7. Prometheus received the punishment of having his liver eaten by an eagle every day - his second choice was a layover at Detroit Metro Airport! Next time!
  8. Former Murder Capital? More like Still First in Minimum Legal Restroom Paper Towel Dispensing!