THINGS ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE ME UNDERSTAND

This one's for all the me's out there.
  1. The way your mom answers phone calls with "Where are you?" instead of "How are you?"
  2. How proud you felt when your dentist complimented you on your flossing technique.
  3. That it felt way too satisfying when your ex blogged about you for like a YEAR after your break up.
  4. You dropped at least two classes in college because you couldn't find the classroom.
  5. You want a plant but you're not sure you can handle the commitment.
  6. You've never been prouder to be a Jew than when you were killing Nazis in the new Wolfenstein video game
  7. How much social anxiety a haircut gives you to the point where you have to psyche yourself up in the mirror beforehand.