X-Men Apocalypse: Yay! or Nay?

Must rewatch but what I expected - fun for fangirls like me, but not the magic of Days... or X1-2. Twas very X3. Knew it going in. Marketing's been epic scale, meh fx, tons o mutants.. But it lost the human element (ironically). For all its high stakes action, APOX feels less like the end of the world and more like the end of a winning streak ❌
  1. DISCLAIMER:
    Don’t get me wrong with this List - I have loved and will always love this franchise, love these films, even love getting upset at all the little details. So thank you cast and crew. But this one is definitely in my bottom three along with Origins Wolverine and X3. Still love watching them and deconstructing them after. So don't get huffy if you're an X fan - I am too🤓I just geek out hard and like talking about my yays/nays with Xfans- MAJOR SPOILER ALERT, Listerines! You’ve been warned…
  2. YAY: A Magnetic Pole
    While old characters played by new actors (Storm, Cyclops, Nighty, Angel) barely did more than display their powers, Singer did Fassbender justice with Erik’s storyline this go-around, presumably bc he’s Oscar caliber. While giving Magneto another fam was a blow to fans (he already had the Magda backstory with the products of that relationship appearing in the films: Quicksilver + Scarlet Witch), it allowed Erik to appear more conflicted/embittered leader and less megalomaniacal mutant dictator.
  3. NAY: A Magnetic Pole
    Of all mutants, Magneto's is the most representative & allegorical storyline, so I'm glad they gave him some meat (and cool to hear him do a Polish dialect!), but I wish they had sustained that storyline throughout. Again, would’ve been much better if he had really lost control a la Buffy's Dark Willow, or even Charles when Apox channels him to take over Cerebro. Would’ve made sense too, since he wasn’t making a logical choice, but succumbing to the rage that has spurned his genocidal ideations.
  4. YAY: Apox's first live-action appearance!
    The only cool Apox moment was when he first shows his powers to Storm. Fairly badass and terrifying I’d say – felt like I was watching a moment from American Horror Story: X-Men, which was an awesome flavor to add to the films. Rarely are mutant powers portrayed as disturbing and horrifying, even though some of them are absolutely just that. This moment was great because it showed the terrible sadistic possibilities of a crazed mutant-diety on the loose - and in that sense, he/it was a triumph.
  5. NAY: Storm’s intro in Egypt (1)
    Kudos connecting Apox + the pyramids + Ororo’s teenage thievery on the streets of Cairo – great story work there. Not so much on the execution. Where was the chase scene through the streets leading to the eventual run in with Apox? Could’ve been a dynamic sequence, instead was like 30 seconds long. And this is where X3 and Apox have a lot in common – great multitude of mutants, potentially awesome larger-than-life villains and displays of power, but not taking its time in terms of pacing.
  6. NAY: Storm’s intro in Egypt (2)
    Storm barely has lines (a sad state of affairs that mirrors Oscar winner Halle Berry barely having lines in 2000’s X-Men) and really no arc other than wanting to be an out-n-proud mutant like her hero Mystique. The only cool tie-in there was that in the first X, Mystique shapeshifts into Storm, so it was a lil nod to that Freaky Friday moment. Storm's my fav mutant of all time, and the films have not done her justice in any form imho (e.g. cutting Wolverine and Storm's romance in Days..). Shame.
  7. YAY: A Phoenix Rising!
    At least young Jean is given some room to grow here, like Magneto. Also like Magneto, she fizzles as often as she sizzles. I loved her premonitions and thought her climactic crowning as the new X-it-girl was well done, but would’ve appreciated more development of her and Scott and her lack of control over her powers. But again, been there, done that. Of the young, mostly new cast, I found Sophie Turner very capable, and she nailed the two-finger-to-temple Famke nod (MacAvoy stole it from her ;)
  8. NAY: Apox (1)
    I still have the action figure (to be fair, I have them all). What I love about Apox is he's otherworldly. He's the mutant that walks into the party and all the other mutants take note. Theirs aren’t powers compared to his. He's the ultimate delusional leader blinded by power who believes his own self-aggrandizement. So, while Oscar Isaac did a predictably solid job playing the supervillain, he felt…lame. Just lame. He only amplifies his mass/vol. once in an intrapsychic fight w Xavier?! Psshhh.
  9. NAY: Apox (2)
    Instead of his growth/shrinkage power, Apox uses sand as a weapon and makes a protective shield around himself. Not what’d you expect from a fearless, seemingly impenetrable mu-tyrant. (Yay for into-wall-ness doe). So what would hotsy totsy @JonMarsh have done? Apox can’t be killed. He can only be contained. Put him back in the ground, sealed in some way by the X-Men for anotha cupla millennia. Allegedly, that’s how it’s been done before. Woulda been a superior ending & allowed for a comeback.
  10. YAY: Hi Ho, Quicksilver, Away!💨
    Once again, it's Evan Peters to the rescue, this time with an equally crowd-pleasing slow motion scene backed by The Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams. In APOX, Pietro's plight is the will-he-or-won't-he-tell-Daddy-Magneto prodigal son. And he steals every scene. Again. Clap it out for Evan Peters 👏👏👏
  11. NAY: No more mister nice mutant...
    Why is Apox giving people choices? He doesn’t do that. Xavier does that. Apox collects acolytes. Often by putting people in a trance. So why is he giving peeps the chance to betray him by allowing free will? As soon as he had Storm, her eyes should have gone white and she should’ve been under his control. I suppose they were worried this would be too similar to X2’s Jason Stryker's mind-control secretion, but you already have multiple mutants with telepathy and mind-control abilities so, c'mon.
  12. NAY: Old Friends
    So sick of them writing Magneto and Charles having the SAAMMMMMME conversation again and again; why not have, oh I don't know, Charles TEACH THE CHILDREN something? If I have to hear the “why can’t you play nice?” “because they started it!” dialogue again, Imma read some damn minds or magnetically fuck fucking fuckers up. That’s right, I said it. They literally put together a mishmashup of Erik and Charles’ fights through the ages (no wonder there’s so much gay erotica written about these two).
  13. YAY: What a tease... (1)
    A man walks through a military facility strewn with dead bodies, retrieves a blood-filled vial labeled Weapon X, and places it in his briefcase marked “Essex Corp.” Nathaniel Essex. Aka Mr. Sinister. One of my favorite X-Men villains (born into the X-Men universe – aka Marvel – in 1987, the same year I entered the world …unfortunately of non-mutants). Guess the rumors of X-23 being in Wolv3 are a result of Mr. Sinister’s genetic Darwin-gone-wrong experiments.
  14. YAY: What a tease... (2)
    Since he’s also played a role in Scott and Jean’s epic saga, I bet he’ll be the wedge between their budding romance in the pre-production 90s-set X7. Also, he has history with Gambit, and he doesn’t age, so he could be in that film too, although that would be a first for any villain other than Magneto (and arguably Mystique, who’s sort of an anti-hero).
  15. YAY: What a tease...(3)
    Regardless of which future film he’s in, I’m excited…although what a waste to have him in the same film as his maker, Apocalypse, and not have them interact?! Will we get flashbacks, praytell?? Fingers croxxed. Really hope they don't revisit Dark Phoenix territory. But very interested in more chapters in the early romance of Jean & Scott. P.S. Can we give Jubilee more than a cameo? Plus better villains? Mr. S is a step in the right direction, but how about an entirely future-based Mojo X8! 💥
  16. So, overall...
    ...some hits, more misses, but (dareIsayit?) not the APOCALYPSE of the X-Men, of course. Looking forward to the next outing, but eager to see what little easter eggs I missed the first time around. I'm sure I missed a lot. FYI all pics from my personal collection of comics and cards! Gimme your thoughts on the latest installment in the X film canon.
  17. UPDATED: Second viewing
    2x in one week. Definitely better second time around (great, now I have the theme song to Step By Step stuck in my head...actually- not mad about it). Uneven, yes, but it has its moments and nods to the comics, while also striving for gravitas. Sometimes that results in movie moment overload™, when blockbusters do too many music-crescendoing and villain-shouting-dialogue fake-outs in a row, to the point that you become numb to them before the big climax, but this climax? eXcellent. Grade: C+