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  1. Me, pretending to take a selfie but really taking a picture of Jon Voight to send to my Dad.
  2. Exampling the perfect, tiny, corner piece of Barnaby's pizza while sitting in the back seat en route to deliver to my sister but eating instead. I love when they cut in squares.
  3. A birthday card given to me by @jennylare - I love it so much.
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It only took looking back to discover the future of men's fashion. In his 2010 Spring Menswear show, Thom Browne reveals that he is the designer who is most sympathetic to man in the modern era.
  1. 1.
    The Sheer Pant.
    Perfect for global warming. A breezy look you can dress up with a paillette-embellished tank top or dress down with a pair of flip-flops. Or both!
  2. 2.
    A Skort
    Calling all eunuchs! An easy, fresh, wearable trend for the man who means business but has no balls.
  3. 3.
    A Body Condom
    For the man who's sac is too big for his britches. Go ahead, be a douchebag! They won't question your boardroom tactics when you look like a giant bag of vinegar and water in the most literal sense of the word.
  4. 4.
    Pac-Man mit Skort
    Not only a great alternative to formalwear in this (soon to be 200 degree) heat but with employment so low, no one has to know it's you lettin 'em slide their hand up your skort for a couple extra Benjamin's on the side. Game over!
  1. This.
    What the fuck is a BH Ambassador? What're you gonna give me a ticket for wearing the wrong shoes with my outfit?
  2. That.
    Does ANYONE think they're fooling anyone? She was NOT born with it and it WASN'T Maybelline.
  3. Her.
    Why is she always in my eyeline?
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  1. When the new coffee shop owner told me, "We had a soft opening just for bloggers..."
    We get it - you spend $8 on a coffee and have a fancy purse.
  2. Murdered-Out Matte Black Cars
    So we can tell you're cheesy before you actually arrive.
  3. Aggressive Beach Selfies
    That's a lot of sand in your veej, bae.
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  1. Dickwich
    Kind of like being the Lucky Pierre, when a guy is sandwiched between two other gents.
  2. Emotiqueen
    Someone who is prone to histrionics.
  3. Femtastic
    Something that is both wonderful and female in nature.
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Have you ever wondered how to monetize your social media capital? Do you often think about paying for groceries with "likes" or 👍🏻's? Well, now you can! With my new book, Instapay, aka Thumb$. And if you act now, you'll also get an advanced copy of my new solo album, Thumb$ Pays the Rent!
  1. 1.
    Um...
  2. 2.
    Wait, hold on.
  3. 3.
    Oh! Ah...
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  1. 1) Company
  2. Mom: Eve, honey, put away the coats. I've got company coming.
  3. Eve: Why?
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The feminizing of men's fashion has always fascinated me. Yes, there has been much crossover since the ancient Greeks started belting their tunics but, dude, you're carrying a purse. Which is why, every time I see a gent firmly clutching a clutch, I wanna say, "Excuse me, ma'am?"
  1. Excuse me, ma'am?
  2. Pardon me, ladies?
  3. Oh, scuse me. Sorry to interrupt. As you were, Madame.
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