Overheard at home...

  1. 1) Company
  2. Mom: Eve, honey, put away the coats. I've got company coming.
  3. Eve: Why?
  4. Mom: Because I said so.
  5. (Eve hands coats to Dad) Here.
  6. Dad: What's all this?
  7. Eve: Apparently Mom doesn't want Lisa and Jon to know we wear coats.
  8. 2) Mom going to court.
  9. Me: Be nice, look pretty, don't play dumb though.
  10. Mom: I don't need to play dumb. I've got Dick.
  11. Me: Good for you, Mom. That's the spirit! Ya got brass balls.
  12. Mom: No, I've got Dick.
  13. Me: You got a sex change?
  14. Mom: No, Dick, you know Dick.
  15. Me: Boy, do I ever know dick.
  16. Mom: No, Dick Adler. He's my lawyer!
  17. 3) Keeping it real.
  18. Me: (from the kitchen) Mom?
  19. Mom: (from the laundry room) Yes, dear?
  20. Me: Remember when I played the cello?
  21. Mom: Yes, dear.
  22. Me: Was I ever any good?
  23. Mom: No, dear, you weren't.