Funny things people have said

  1. "It's like 40 ft of giraffe" - kellen
  2. "It's like a cow grew a tree threw it" - kellen
  3. "What's good my brothers?" -some weird kid that walked into the party
  4. "Snot crystallizes at room temperature so how hot does it need to be to stay liquid?" -imani
  5. "Wanna go get food?" -Jenna
    It's 12:08 at night in Chicago
  6. "you have chapstick on" "no that would be butter"
    At the movies with mom and Chris
  7. "My lip hurts"- Gabby
    Not the face ones
  8. "Don't fart on my side of the bed" -mom
  9. "You can tell he's gay, he has a nice fade" -me
  10. Bri:"who's Danny devito?" Carson:"you never saw grease?"
  11. "I wish I would have gotten shot on New Years. Then I could have said I went with a bang" -gabby
  12. "I'm really good at opening car doors"-gabby
  13. "He needs a leg" -gabby
  14. "Oh Jesus, my sticky tag came off my material. god bless america." -passive aggressive woman in Walmart
  15. "My new EP is gonna be called wrap the wang" -imani
  16. ‪Me *farts*‬ ‪. Imani -"you sound like Pumbaa"‬
  17. "And will you're like hehehe I'm going to make his dick 24 inches long" -the director for the show I'm doing
  18. "Whoever invented standing in showers is fucking stupid" -jenna
  19. "Hobs and lobs... it's describing my cellulite" - Elie
  20. "I just had 3 margaritas, give me 6 mins and I'll be even worse." -jenna
  21. "How are fingerprints so different?" -Katey from makeup
  22. "Don't get diabetes" -jenna
  23. "That fart was like Hiroshima" -Jen
  24. *taps me on my shoulder looks at me in our lyft* "this feels like grand theft auto" -Jenna