People I Would Like To Be For A Day

  1. Donald Trump: Best for Business
    You think he says crazy shit now? And of course I would spend every red cent.
  2. Kanye West: A day in dat beautiful mind
    For obvious and not so obvious reasons. Spending a day in that mind would tower over any and every amusement park combined. Plus, at the end of that I get to bang Kim Kardashian, Sounds like a great day to me.
  3. Cartman: He gets away with Murder
    No! He literally got away with murder then mashed their remains into chili and fed it to their son! A Schizophrenic? Possibly. A racist? Certainly! A sociopath? Absolutely! A Fat Ass? NO! I'M NOT FAT, I'M BIG BONED! The reason why South Park is one of my favorite shows of all time? Without a doubt! An Explanation to Trump's popularity? It's a theory. An American Treasure? Undeniably! Screw You Guys... Imma goin home.
  4. Wilt Chamberlain: What's your number?
    Regardless if you believe it or not this basketball legend claims to have bed over 10,000 woman over the Course of his life. I don't care to know the truth, I just wanna experience 10,000 being the answer to "What's your number?" And the reaction to that being "Yeah, that sounds like about right." Plus I wanna know what it feels like to be awesome at basketball. I'm so bad at basketball I suck at video games about basketball.
  5. Snoop Dogg
    You know he smokes the good good!
  6. President Obama's Birth Certificate
    It got more attention on Twitter than I ever did.
  7. Anyone who's currently Para sailing
    I can't swim, which means I am willing to risk drowning just to simulate the sensation of taking flight.
  8. An adult film actor
    Any man who says he wouldn't do this is A) Lying or B) Secretly storing body parts in his basement freezer.