People I Would Like To Be For A Day
- •Donald Trump: Best for BusinessYou think he says crazy shit now? And of course I would spend every red cent.
- •Kanye West: A day in dat beautiful mindFor obvious and not so obvious reasons. Spending a day in that mind would tower over any and every amusement park combined. Plus, at the end of that I get to bang Kim Kardashian, Sounds like a great day to me.
- •Cartman: He gets away with MurderNo! He literally got away with murder then mashed their remains into chili and fed it to their son! A Schizophrenic? Possibly. A racist? Certainly! A sociopath? Absolutely! A Fat Ass? NO! I'M NOT FAT, I'M BIG BONED! The reason why South Park is one of my favorite shows of all time? Without a doubt! An Explanation to Trump's popularity? It's a theory. An American Treasure? Undeniably! Screw You Guys... Imma goin home.
- •Wilt Chamberlain: What's your number?Regardless if you believe it or not this basketball legend claims to have bed over 10,000 woman over the Course of his life. I don't care to know the truth, I just wanna experience 10,000 being the answer to "What's your number?" And the reaction to that being "Yeah, that sounds like about right." Plus I wanna know what it feels like to be awesome at basketball. I'm so bad at basketball I suck at video games about basketball.
- •Snoop DoggYou know he smokes the good good!
- •President Obama's Birth CertificateIt got more attention on Twitter than I ever did.
- •Anyone who's currently Para sailingI can't swim, which means I am willing to risk drowning just to simulate the sensation of taking flight.
- •An adult film actorAny man who says he wouldn't do this is A) Lying or B) Secretly storing body parts in his basement freezer.