Things I Have Learned From My Career as a Professional Wrestler
I'm not/ nor have I ever been a professional wrestler.
- •We don't really hit each other.Who knew?
- •Getting a boner in the ring is more terrifying than any injury, or person.Can't market a boner.
- •You can't be on your phone in the ring.Like texting and driving, but texting and pile-driving. (Pun)
- •It's a family business.We're all actually related in some way.
- •It's hard to get merchandising if your gimmick is as an eccentric Ice cream scooper.Catchphrase: "Will that be one scoop... Or two?!?"
- •Coming out to "Ice Ice Baby" gets you booed.I was told not to
- •Steel chairs are actually made of the same material as Nerf products.The sound effect is just a noise we make with our mouths.
- •The blood is real...It's just not human.
- •Much like stripping, always tip the house mother (referee).
- •You get a lot of people saying "don't I know you from somewhere?"
- •They'll pay you to retire.End of career.