Things I Hate About Summer In New York City

Once upon a time I enjoyed summer. Then I turned 19 and left Indiana to move to New York City where I discovered that not all summers are equal. I'm about to experience my 19th summer here. Weeee!
  1. Roaches and Water Bugs and Silver Fish, oh my!
    I know, they're everywhere all the time all year long. But it seems they go into hiding during cooler months and then explode on to the scene come summer. The building exterminator laughed when I explained that a water bug once walked into my apartment through the front door. His response after the laughter subsided? "It happens, I guess", casual shrug.
  2. Sweltering Subway Platforms
    As I stand on the platform at Union Square waiting for the Q to Brooklyn, hair matted from the heat and humidity, immersed in the inescapable stench of garbage mingled with body odor, suffocating on warm stale air, only one thought brings me solace and gives me the strength to endure: "Winter is coming."
  3. What Time Is It? Show Time!
    The pole dancing pop n lock fellas, often shirtless and not in a good way, take up permanent residence on the subways in summertime. Why is this a thing? If women did this they'd be called strippers — topless women working the pole in unsanitary conditions for dollar bills. Yet, the Show Time guys are totally acceptable. 🤔
  4. Cooking Garbage
    Piles upon piles of garbage get re-heated as they await the arrival of garbage trucks. Ahhhhh, the aroma of summer in New York.
  5. Riff Raff
    I'm sure shady dealings in the city, like roaches and water bugs, are happening everywhere all the time. But, in winter people tend to keep the nonsense in their home or their car or — I don't know and that's the point. In summer? Everyone comes out to play, to fight, to get crazy. Heat makes people crazy, man.