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- •Both teams fight like petty little menstruating Jr. High girls.
- •Neither team can catch a ball.
- •Halftime Show 👎🏻 Even larger fail than the game.
My husband just began working days like a normal human being after a year and a half on night shift. Within this time I have turned, what was once merely a decor pillow, into an essential sleep aid. My husband is adapting however I just thought I would explain this to others just in case they misunderstood the purpose of a vertical pillow as well.
- •If there is a vertical pillow placed in the center of your bed...This does not mean move it and attempt to cuddle. I am not interested. At this time, I am interested only in the value of what will hopefully be 8 hours of uninterrupted, dreamless sleep. Don't touch me. Don't think about touching me. Think of the pillow as a boundary and do NOT cross the pillow. Respect the pillow.
- •If it is placed in the center of the bed and my arms are NOT wrapped around it...This is not an open invitation for you to touch the pillow. Let's go back to Kindergarten etiquette: "Is it yours?" No it's not. "But honey, what's mine is yours and vice versa remember?" That's where I draw the line. We can share responsibility of debt, bank accounts & so on in our relationship but this is not your pillow. Go buy your own.
- •If the vertical pillow is placed on my side of the bed...This means one of 2 things: I got tired of laying in the specific direction that the center vertical pillow was having me lay or it's an open invitation to cuddling & etc. How do you know which is preferred? Easy, touch me, if I groan, cuss you, or slap at you, return to your side of the bed quickly and quietly.
- •Door prize! 🎁Boo yah! How did they know I was dying for gingerbread house?
- •Meal 🍗No complaints. I try to never complain about food as there are others that do not have it.
- •Everyone socializing with beer in hand 🍺No one is breaking any HIPAA violations, so all seems well.
Seriously though. Really today has been a pathetic List day. #Shame
- •That list about the dad trying to decide if it's frosting or glue on his kids gingerbread house.It was glue 😝
- •That's about it.
- •P.S. If I wanted to hear about your opinions on gun control and all that other bullshit, I would add you to Facebook. If you are one that does post about politics, your rights or not rights, or any kind of crap that we're all going to disagree about-please find another app.Opinions in politics/current events & current relationship status: Facebook / Entertaining one liners = Twitter / Creepy sexual predators = MySpace / Good ole fashion entertainment about random things = The List. Get it? Got it? Good!
So after a trip around my high school yearbook, a scroll or two through my Facebook friends & several discussions with my legit friends, I have narrowed down my "type".
- •Burly, corn fed, God fearing, hard working, mamas boys.Hot, masculine, gun toting, boot wearing rednecks.
- •Slightly questionable charactersThe funny guys that you really hope don't have any paraphernalia on them.
- •Adam Levine
- •Yep. That's pretty much it.
I sing. Impressively well. I sing with bands, on albums, write songs etc so karaoke is no big thing to me. However, I have a few go-to overdone karaoke songs that always seem to be crowd pleasers when I do them.
- •Me and Bobby McGee by Janis JoplinAlso my go-to shower song.
- •You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette
- •Paradise by the Dashboard Lights by Meatloaf
- •My friends kidsBecause they are super cute and always doing something equally as cute.
- •My friends petsAgain, because everyone wants to snap cute things such as puppies and kids.
- •Walls/FloorsBecause apparently it makes no sense to just text someone, they have to take a pic of the wall or floor and send u a text via SnapChat instead.
Ok so it's time for me to decide what I want to be when I grow up and college is on me to commit. So what should I go for?
- •Outpatient TherapistMental Health. I love it! Always wanted to be a therapist. But it takes SO long! And SO much college! And SO much money! Plus mental health is always bottom of the barrel as far as funding goes and the paperwork is brutal.
- •Human ResourcesQuicker. And much easier/less expensive than being a Therapist. I know I'd be good at it however It will feel much less rewarding than Outpatient Therapy.
- •Radio PersonalityI love music. I love being part of events. Maybe?
I love people. Just not all people. Or half the people I know.
- •I may know you, but...I don't necessarily like you.
- •I know we graduated together 10+ years ago but..We weren't close then and I really don't care what you are doing now.
- •I know we are related but...Either one of two reasons: I don't like you. OR You are a nosy, busy body and I don't prefer you knowing where I am or who I am with or what I had for lunch.