TODAY'S COMMERCIALS

At least the ones on ESPN...
  1. Amateur Tester Commercial
    When we are made to believe that there are people reacting genuinely to the product with gleeful surprise. Like hey dude, here's a camera, mic and stranger in your face and a bowl of shredded mini-wheats, whadaya think? Are you seriously expecting me to believe this is a natural reaction? I once asked someone for the time and they gave me the look you give when you step in dogshit. *click*
  2. Meds commercial
    These ones have two very distinct sides to them. First, the video, usually a person doing really normal, casual everyday things with ease and smiles. The second part, the Audio: the most horrifying laundry list of excruciating side effect you can expect from this poison and how you should be extremely cautious before even thinking of coming into contact with these death-bites. *click*
  3. Fan Duel
    This feels like the update to the Publishers Clearinghouse scam. *click*
  4. Car insurance commercials
    Who would've thought that something as fucking boring as car insurance could be so damn funny? I mean that Australian (?) gecko is so clever, amiright? I mean gecko >> geico. Genius! And don't get me started on Flo 😂🔫 *click*
  5. Food commercials
    Pretty much a highlight reel of the perfect version of food you can never and will ever actually see or eat. *turns tv off*