CHARACTERS AT THE LAUNDRYMAT

Is it creepy that I'm fake texting but really eavesdropping on EVERYBODY?!
  1. Woman without panties
    She really really needed to do laundry today!
  2. The crazy old lady
    Always lots of old ladies, some are sweet, some pound the washing machine depending ALL THE CATHOLICS ARE EVIL and on another topic (I think) THEYRE ALL SLUTS BUT THE BIGGEST SLUT GETS PAID
  3. The fighting couple
    Guy is into drugs, woman is into Jesus. Somehow I think they'll make it work--she brought him pie and ice cream last night, clearly condoning his highness
  4. At least two dogs
    One peed next to fighting couple but they didn't notice, the other is eating Cheetos
  5. Cute guy but it's weird I saw you washing your underwear and vice versa
    Someday we'll lie and tell people we met on social media