LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT Z

Here are some things you may not know about my awesome housemate Zara
  1. She's obsessed with Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I swear, if I hear Titus Andromedon sing "Pinot noir" one more time....
  2. She has a stripper pole in her bedroom
  3. ...And a witchcraft alter
  4. Justin Bieber is the only man (ahem BOY) to besmirch her soul
  5. She's 2 parts water, one part Krafts mac'n'cheese
  6. And she's secretly plotting to murder the noisy catholic kids next door. Who knew recess would last all fucking day??!