My upstairs neighbors have all the components of a healthy relationship! Here is what you would hear if you sat in my bedroom for an hour.
  1. A stampede
    I'm 💯% sure they own a wild animal. Possibilities include: rhino, hippo, wild boar, a rabid elk or Bigfoot.
  2. "Stop it" "Die!!!" "I hate you!!"
    The number of times I've almost called the police...
  3. Tap dancing
    Or possibly Irish dancing. They never play any music though.
  4. Jumping competitions
    Jump rope possible. Or maybe a skip-bo® !
  5. General stomping with 'tude
    I've long wondered if it's a 4 year old, a teenage girl or a grown woman.
  6. "Arrrrrgh" and other exasperated sighs
    I can't fathom how they haven't destroyed their vocal chords yet. Can't wait for that day.
  7. Slamming 20 lb weights on the floor
    I'm certain these people are CUT, 2% body fat and body builders.
  8. Whining and complaining
    Would you like some cheese with that?
  9. Aggressive (& possibly clumsy) sex
    The true meaning of "banging"
  10. The entire cast of Stomp.
    Perhaps they hold auditions for a local off-Broadway production
  11. Sumo Wrestling or Krav Maga