THE LAST FIVE TEXTS I RECEIVED

  1. 1.
    "I would LOVE to smoke the weed with Anderson"
    My friend Emma expressing her need to bro out w/ Anderson Cooper
  2. 2.
    "Come on, Shonda"
    My mom, disappointed in Shonda Rhimes' character choices for Olivia Pope
  3. 3.
    "🐄❤️✊ ... I'm making that a bumper sticker"
    My sister and I have a lot of feelings about cows
  4. 4.
    "EX BOYFRIEND OMG I GOTTA GO IM LEAVING CLASS EARLY"
    Finding out Nick Offerman will play captain holt's ex boyfriend on Brooklyn 99
  5. 5.
    "Lol. I'm funny other time too"
    My friend Madi, lying to herself and others