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I'm not fooling anyone, I've made the wrong decision more than these few times. Here is just a Whitman's sampler.
- 1.When I made a Feta quesadillaTerrible decision.
- 2.When I cut my hair off the summer before 5th gradeDid I mention I was starting at a new elementary school for 5th grade? A kind soul later told me she didn't know if I was a boy or girl on the first day. As it turns out, it's hard to make new friends when your gender is ambiguous.
- 3.When I got sunstroke in Mexico...on my honeymoon. So I had to dress like a plantation owners wife for the rest of the trip.
- 4.When I accidentally ate a beef tacoHere's a fun story: I accidentally ate a beef taco after not eating beef for 10 years. Did you know the enzyme for digesting red meat operates under a "use it or loose it" philosophy? ☠💩
Alternate Title: everyone else needs to get their shit together
- 1.When people tape notes on their trashcans to tell everyone not to throw dog poop away in said trashcan.
- 2.When I can hear you chewing.
- 3.When the barista doesn't know what a shot in the dark is.
- 4.The word "sure".It's like saying "no" and "yes" at the same time. Pick one!
Drafts for days
- 2.Grass Clippingsworth
- 3.Lebron James