What to Say When Goldie Hawn's Sloppy Seconds Asks You For Your Number

  1. Why doesn't your daughter speak to you?
  2. Weren't you married to Shirley?
  3. I saw you perform with your brothers at Disneyland when I was in 4th grade
  4. I don't typically date men I meet at work
  5. Especially men who crash into me and make me spill my entire tray of cocktails
  6. Actually, I'm an adjunct professor during the day...I only serve cocktails at night
  7. For the last time, I don't give out my number to Goldie Hawn's sloppy seconds