FUNNY COLLOQUIAL SOUTHERN PHRASES MY GRANDPARENTS USE
Hey, y'all come on in. These are not for the faint of heart and all are/were said often by my grandmother and grandfather.
- •Well kiss my foot!A euphemism for "kiss my ass!" Translates to: I don't believe it! You're kidding! My grandmother Charlotte used this so much it is forever in my memory.
- •Well I'll be darned.A euphemism for "Well I'll be damned." AKA "I didn't see that coming!" Or "I guess I was wrong about that."
- •The sun doesn't shine on the same dog's ass all the time.You can't always get what you want.
- •DooflatchyThis is used to name someone who's name you can't remember.
- •I need to put my face on.I need to put on my makeup and do my hair.
- •I'm gonna fix up!I need to go get ready!
- •If you have to eat a turd, don't nibble on it.If you need to do something bad might as well get it over with. Which brings me to...
- •You can't polish a turd.You can't make someone unattractive (physically or personality) attractive. Also like...
- •Don't try to teach a pig how to sing.Don't bother trying to teach someone something who isn't going to learn.
- •I don't give a rat's ass!DGAF
- •If I tell you a mouse can pull a breaking plow, you hitch him up!If I tell you to do something you better just do it.
- •I will skin you alive...You're in deep trouble.
- •They aren't worth a dime.Pretty self explanatory.
- •He/she is ugly as sin.Extremely ugly/mean. Ugly in old southern chit chat meant both physically unattractive but also mean or spiteful.
- •You can kiss my shiny white ass.DGAF
- •Give me some sugar, sugah!How about a kiss, sweet thing!
- •Worthless as teets on a boar.Totally redundant/useless.
- •It smells to high heaven!It smells really bad.