THINGS I DID INSTEAD OF WATCHING THE SUPERBOWL

I am that 1/3 of Americans who didn't tune in.
  1. Find all the good commercials online and watch them without having to wait for the actual break time.
  2. Google who was playing and the likely odds of who should win.
    Just so I can pretend to have watched the game.
  3. Watch copious amounts of Netflix.
  4. Pretend to do some homework.
  5. Clean my room.
  6. Do a coconut oil hair mask.
  7. Watch YouTube videos of Katy Perry's halftime show. Right after it happened.
  8. Write in my daily planner my upcoming activities.
  9. Watch snapchats of friends at Super Bowl watch parties.
  10. Avoid all sport-fanatic friends so I don't get killed.
  11. Buy a new bike.
    It's a PUBLIC bike and she's a beauty.
  12. And finally, Google who won the Super Bowl.