Things to do while waiting for an endoscopy.

  1. Ask all adults in waiting area if they also swallowed a small amphibian.
  2. Began to wretch and make choking noises, look up and say: just kidding.
  3. Get a straw, lay on floor, look around and say: "might as well do it myself", aim for throat.
  4. Get a hold of tv remote and continuously flip through channels, on loud, make sure not to stop until people in room are squirming and sighing.
  5. Mutter under your breath over and over "all those reports on Dr. ... Can't be true.
  6. When finally called, look back tearful and say:"pray for me".