THINGS YOU CAN BE SAINTED FOR

  1. Dying in the gladiator ring
  2. Converting the heathens
  3. Taking garbage out even when you have better shit to do
  4. Being in the right place at the right time
  5. Helping your friend move
  6. Giving birth to son of god
  7. Holding the door open
  8. Performing a miracle, like showing up to brunch even though you're hungover