WHAT I DO WHEN I'M LEFT ALONE FOR A FEW DAYS

Why I'm not single
  1. Eat microwave soup
    And manage to burn it
  2. Forget to stop working
    Tonight I have replaced work with making lists
  3. Sing really loudly
    And admire just how great I am
  4. Search for recipes that I will NEVER make
    And that's probably for the best
  5. Drink alone
    I can't decide whether this is acceptable. I'm going with yes.
  6. Don't shave
    This does not need qualifying in anyway
  7. Say personal things on a social network
    'Don't shave' or 'take my pants off'
  8. Take my pants off
    Comfort over style