Things To Hold: My Least To Most Favorite
These hands are made for holding.
- •My pepper sprayIf I'm holding it, I'm probably feeling REALLY skeeved out while I walk home alone, at night, through the city. Not fun.
- •Anything over 25 poundsPlease no. My toothpick arms aren't suited for hard labor.
- •A calculatorSince it means I've somehow been roped into doing math
- •Someone else's drinkFine if they're doing something important that really requires my service, but annoying if they're just fucking around and I'm left holding a drink that I can't drink but may drink subconsciously because I'm already holding it! That's the natural response!
- •My laptopI love it, but I'm trying to be off screens more often. This leads to a lot of inner conflict about my laptop and its applications.
- •A beverage in a martini glassInstantly makes you feel classier.
- •A beverage in a rocks glassInstantly makes you feel more badass.
- •A burritoA+ for taste and comfort. Also when you hold it with two hands, sometimes you feel like a little hamster!
- •A good bookI wish I did this more often. I'm trying!
- •A treeHugging trees feels WAY better than you'd expect. It's so nice.
- •Quality, interestingly-pigmented lipsticksThey never cease to excite me.
- •A human beingI am very pro-hug. Always have been.
- •A puppyNo matter their age. They out-cuddle mere men every single time.