THINGS I THOUGHT WHILE WATCHING THE REVENANT

Winner of the Golden Globe for Best Picture Traumatizing or PTSD-Inducing. *Spoilers ahead*
  1. Alright let's go full REVENANT
  2. Beautiful cinematography
  3. Hey! That's Bill Weasley!
  4. Tom Hardy's accent is very strange
  5. Holy fuck arrow through the neck!
  6. Was that a dead naked man or woman?
  7. Why the hell did that guy shoot the horse in the face????
  8. His daughter is kidnapped? Best of luck with that.
  9. Wow beautiful scenery
  10. Okay everyone listen to Leo
  11. Tom Hardy's accent is Kathy Bates's from American Horror Story!
  12. Okay, shut the fuck Tom Hardy
  13. Man the fur trade is ROUGH
  14. Ugh racism
  15. HOLY SHIT BEAR
  16. Bearbearbearbear!!!!!
  17. 🐻🔪
  18. Oh god I'm going to puke
  19. FUCK YOU TOM HARDY
  20. Oh god this is bleak 😢
  21. Leo HOW are you moving right now???
  22. YOU CANT DRINK WATER WITH A HOLE IN YOUR NECK!
  23. Wow what a beautiful river
  24. A murdered pregnant woman? Are you kidding me with this?
  25. Young guy just did something nice. This means he will be murdered at any moment.
  26. The last 30 minutes were so upsetting I blacked out.
  27. And now a rape scene. Great.
  28. Hey Luke Skywalker did that with a Tauntaun!
  29. Everything is awful.
  30. Goodbye world!