LESSONS FROM CALIFORNIA DROUGHT

We must all do our part. ...Except agriculture. And fracking.
  1. Waiters will assume a sanctimonious attitude when asking if you want tap water
    Because I'm sure the 8oz/day I drink are the root cause of this drought
  2. Shaving your legs with the shower turned off is an exercise in contemplating your worthless existence and removing the skin from the top of each goosebump
  3. Righteous indignation at the sight of green grass
    ...even in another state....one that is not having a drought
  4. You will compound the effects of the hangover because you selflessly didn't hydrate
  5. Everybody will complain about the rain and then say, "but we can't complain, because we really need it"
    Irony will once again be ignored
  6. Guilt-porn of the effects of the drought on dams, rivers, baby turtles
    But you won't cry because that would be a waste of water
  7. Dramatic movie scenes in the rain will seem unrealistic (and not because of the melodrama)