My Whole Life Is_____: A Post-grad Tragedy

  1. Buffering
    Apparently Kelly Kapoor already established this.
  2. Low-key panic
    Did I lock the door? Wouldn't it be CRAZY if someone paid me for labor?
  3. A casserole of emotions
  4. A lesson in underemployment.
    Please...can I have some more?
  5. My student loans anthropomorphized as Rihanna in "Bitch Better Have My 🤑"
    I don't. I don't have it.
  6. Seeing blissful college kids and wondering if I should warn them?
    Also: how dare you be younger than I??
  7. Eating whole pizzas, but, like, it not being the same.
  8. No longer having an excuse to be a woman-child.
  9. Being so great at rice-o-roni that I almost don't need the instructions.
  10. Still decorating my room with string lights.
  11. Rating my days based on whether or not I fall asleep in makeup.
  12. Relief every time a new pop star is older than I am.
  13. Owning an oven mitt and feeling great about it.
    I am basically a homeowner.
  14. Lying about owning my roommate's oven mitt.
    Okay, whatever, she bought it.
  15. Hopefully the second act in a super uplifting movie?
  16. Definitely not thunder
    A nice drizzle, mayhap?