Portmanteaus for the Modern Era +++

Suggestions!
  1. Lie-fi
    Wi-fi that doesn't actually work, for reasons only the tech-literate know. Encountering this demon may lead to feelings of intense betrayal. Beware.
  2. Instacon
    The false solely positive impression that social media accounts give. May lead to an "instalow" or FOMO. Can also be used to describe a person behind the misleading account. In a sentence: Craig is such an instacon. I know for a fact he was a crying drunk mess last night at the club, but his pic is all "BEST NIGHT EVER."
  3. Mombarded / Dadvised
    Bombarded with smothering parental affection, nagging, or unsolicited advice.
  4. Procrastiparty
    A fun activity done in lieu of the crapload of work you should be doing. Also "procrastinze" to describe the sudden onset of organizational or cleaning tasks done to put off working.
  5. Applicosmos
    The black hole into which you send your resume/cover letter when applying for a job you found online. The applicosmos speaks by not speaking.
  6. Wallowwatch
    Like eating your feelings, but binging on your fav TV show, not food. In a sentence: I just got dumped. Come wallowatch Treetop Cat Rescue w me, or you're not my friend.
  7. Internschlep
    An coffee-grabbing, toner refilling, paper stapling internship. No real responsibility or learning occurs. Obviously you're not getting paid.
  8. Coopergression
    The passive aggressive interactions that inevitably occur during group projects. See "group projoke" for the lazy dumb dumb who doesn't pull their weight in a group project, thus inflaming the panic and micromanaging of the type A control freaks.
  9. Self-loafing
    Lying on the kitchen floor eating bread from the inside out whenever you're feeling bad about your life. A la Queen Stassi (formerly?) of Vanderpump Rules, pre chin implant.
  10. Shitpiphany
    The sudden realization you left the oven on, or some other terrible mistake/faux pas.
  11. Stepual tension
    Tension among step-siblings, -parents, or -children.
  12. Unwrapnouncement
    The cacophonous echo that resounds whenever you're trying to snack in a hushed environment.
  13. Complainetition
    A pissing match among friends about who has it worse.
  14. Gap yearlough
    The period of temporary release a student might take between undergrad and graduate school to keep from burning out.
  15. Friendquaintance
    A friend's friend who is peripherally in your circle.
  16. Obligapathy
    The decreased sense of responsibility felt when you know there will be no one forcing you to execute an obligation. In a sentence: I should be writing but this obligapathy's got me googling Lauren conrad hair bows.
  17. Postgradulations
    The self-congratulatory announcements people post on social media about their post-graduate plans. In a sentence: Stella just tweeted a postgradulations about Harvard, barf.
  18. Insomnianxious
    The state of being too stressed or anxious to fall asleep. When your brain won't turn off and allow you to slip into sweet, sweet REM.
  19. Hermate
    Roommate who never leaves their room/house.
  20. Roammate
    A roommate who is never at the house. You're pretty sure they still exist.
  21. Nerdphoria
    Self-explanatory.
  22. Snacketite
    You have a snacketite when you're only in the mood for some junk food.
  23. Toxting
    Texting with someone toxic who you really should block one of these days.
    Suggested by   @videodrew
  24. Procrasturbation: when you can't stop procrastinating because it feels really good
    Suggested by   @NancyMiller