The Best Ways Listappers Describe Themselves

Alternative title: Not To Be Creepy But...👀
  1. "70% passed out in a pile of crumbs 30% hustle" -- @bagelfever
  2. "People describe me as 'his wife is amazing.'"-- @p
  3. "Endorsed for 'critical thinking skills' on LinkedIn" -- @trevler
  4. "Patron Saint of weird hoes"-- @olive
  5. "Why, this must be little Sara." -- is not actually @sjinwards's bio, for reasons indiscernible to me.
  6. "I came to get down." -- @evanp
  7. "On my mom's 30 Under 30 List." -- @madeline
  8. "penis envy" -- @annievain
  9. "Writer of lists and one pilot that did not impress HBO." -- @babystevens
  10. "Champagnemami ~~" -- @em
    Your move, Drake.
  11. "Comedian, etc. " -- @eliolsberg
  12. "With a name like Papi Chulo who needs a bio" -- @Papi
    Fin.