- •EarthI mean, c'mon.
- •MarsSure a distant 2nd, but a clear distant 2nd.
- •JupiterTried to become 2nd sun, but lacked the mass. Still, biggest planet. Protects us from asteroids & such & therefore probably helped life evolve on Earth.
- •UranusName alone puts it in running for #2. Happy coincidence. Tragically, while Jupiter & Saturn are "gas giants," Uranus is not. F*** you universe.
- •NeptuneWith Pluto's demotion to dwarf planet, Neptune now farthest from the sun. So there's that.
- •VenusAtmosphere 96% carbon dioxide, sulfuric acid clouds, & avg surface temp 863 degrees. F*** you, Venus.
- •MercurySmallest and closest to the sun, so way too hot. Who needs it?