1. Long story short, I'm crying in the bathroom of a brooklyn bar.
  2. Who knew
  3. I feel so much better now that I've puke.
  4. Maybe it was my lounge pants, though.
  5. Can't wait for my roommate to come back from vacation so I can tell her how many times her cat puked on the bathroom rug.
  6. "Your content is boring" - a guy
  7. Ban @snl
  8. I can't wait to discuss ebola at tomorrow's staff meeting!!
  9. I am 24 and
  10. Ha ha ha @ the boy's life I just ruined.