Amtrak courtesy tips

No matter the length of your journey, here are some tips for how to travel with courtesy and minimal shade thrown your way by fellow passengers.
  1. 1.
    Use the storage compartments.
    Don't store all personal bags and belongings at your feet. If you're sharing a 4 person table that means your shit is at a stranger's feet. If you choose to ignore this, shade will be thrown and things may be accidentally (or "accidentally") kicked.
  2. 2.
    If you're an asshole and ignore the first tip, don't store your overflow items in the aisle.
    Unless of course you are an attractive white girl. Then, even the staff won't hassle you about this. Who needs equal pay with perks like this?
  3. 3.
    If you eat, chew with your mouth closed
    Your friends and family you're talking loudly with while chewing your food might find this adorable, but literally no one else does.
  4. 4.
    If you drink, handle your booze
    Congratulations are in order for thinking ahead and bringing your own bottle of wine to avoid Amtrak's poor selection and inflated prices. These kudos are retracted when you start burping white wine quietly into your neighbor's face and complaining about tacky and selfish people who get married on holiday weekends, or whatever other gloriously mundane bullshit you're dragging on and on about. Just go be a blousy alcoholic in the bar car.
  5. 5.
    If you snore, bust out that CPAP
    There's no shame in getting some quality sleep on the train. I'm jealous that you're capable of it. These people are strangers, you deserve quality Zs, and Amtrak supplies outlets. It has the added benefit of strangers no longer frantically shaking you awake to see if you're alive. Pro-tip- a hoodie covers everything perfectly if you're self conscious.
  6. 6.
    Above all, mind your manners
    The smile, please, and thank you will get you so far. The light tap on the shoulder and the apologetic smile? It will get you so far with these strangers you're stuck next to for the next 3.5 hours or whatever.
  7. 7.
    Respect the Quiet Car
    This just means STFU. You'll get thrown out and shade you will receive will be like Cersei's naked walk in GoT. The masses will rejoice in your shame.