Yep. I'm one of them. An observation of fellow bar patrons. Took me nearly 2 hours to compile...but here it is.
  1. The Norm
    A friend of mine actually. He's the Norm of this bar tho.
  2. Norm's friend who's name is Mike and literally does not talk.
  3. Couple on their phones.
    She's drinking a beer. He has something in a martini glass. They haven't looked up from their phones.
  4. A guy named Guy.
    He's older. His daughter goes to college in the town where I'm from. We're friends.
  5. Russell on my left.
    Just met Russell tonight. He's apparently "old enough to be my father" but he's still hitting on me.
  6. Sam on my right.
    Guy from Armenia. Keeps buying me drinks and telling me stories about milk.
  7. Sean, who's paying out but wants to challenge me about my baseball teams.
  8. The guy who showed me his penis last week and said we will fuck one day.
    And the new girl he is seeing.
  9. Nick, the bouncer, who gives me back rubs.
    Just kidding. He's not here. He stepped on a pint glass the other day and had to go to the ER and get stitches. Wahhhhh!
  10. This crazy guy named Bobby who cleans carpets.
  11. Fat Latino man wearing a baseball hat and a backpack.
  12. Young guy in a hoodie.
    Where's your ID?
  13. The woman alone on her laptop.
    She was "wrongfully" fired for apparently being racist. Or not racist. So she says.
  14. Old drunk dude at the end of the bar.
    By himself. Not even trying to be social.
  15. Nicole, the bartender. My bff.
  16. Me
  17. Lots of people sitting at tables that I'm not paying attention to. Cause that's too hard.
  18. Another guy named Bobby.
  19. Hold on. Hold on! The old dude at the end is AlSO named Bobby. There are THREE Bobby's here. Fuck.