I live in a small condo building that has six units. I am the only renter, everyone else owns. For that reason (I think), my neighbors are jerks to me. Here's some reasons they've given me to hate them.
  1. When I pass them on the walkway and say hello, they do not return they pleasantries.
    Unit 104. They're jerks. Like why the cold shoulder, assholes? And it wouldn't kill you to say hi to my dog who wants to greet you either. He's so excited to see you.
  2. Thought I was making a porn and called my landlord to complain.
    Unit 102. I was not making a porn. I was not having sex. I was not even home.
  3. Crazy. She's just crazy.
    Unit 106. This woman is just insane.
  4. Complained to my landlord when I put Christmas lights up on my patio for Christmas.
    Anonymous Unit. Scrooges.
  5. Complained to my landlord when I hung a welcome sign.
    On a hook that was already there. Anonymous Unit.
  6. Complained to my landlord that I do laundry.
    Unit 103. How the fuck does that even bother you?!? We don't even share a wall.
  7. Complained to my landlord (and to me when she stopped me outside) that I run the AC.
    Unit 102. She thinks my AC is too loud. Sorry. It's the valley. It's fucking hot out here. I'm not gonna NOT run my AC and sleep in a puddle of sweat for you.
  8. Won't let my dog say hello to their dog.
    Assholes in 104 again. They clearly have troubles with hellos.
  9. Stopped me outside to yell at me about all the dust from the construction on the building next door. Said I needed to call someone to come clean it up.
    Unit 105. I reminded them I am not in the HOA and that the dust from the construction wasn't my fault. In fact, I actually didn't even notice it.
  10. Unit 105 then used a water hose to clean the dust off the walkway. Sprayed down the entire walkway except for directly in front of my door.
  11. Unit 105 wastes a shit ton of water now, almost daily, spraying down the walkway.
    California is in a drought!
  12. Unit 105 yelled at me when the construction crew next door came over (cause she yelled at them they needed to come clean out walkway) and somehow broke our hose. Like it was my fault.
    I don't understand why these people are obsessed with hosing down the walkway.
  13. Yelled at me when the HOA ruled for her to not be able to store furniture in her parking space.
    Unit 106. ....I'm sorry lady. I have NOTHING to do with that. But yeah, don't be a hoarder.
  14. Emailed me to tell me my mailbox was left open.
    Unit 102. Are you trying to be nice? I feel like this was passive aggressive.
  15. Sings in the garage.
    Unit 106. He's like 10...but it's loud. And it echoes. And it annoys the shit out of me.
  16. Complained to the HOA that I leave my porch light on when I'm not home.
    Anonymous Unit. Cause I guess they'd prefer a single girl who lives alone to come home to a dark doorway and constantly live in fear of rape and murder on her doorstep.
  17. Cornered me and asked me to park more to the left side of my parking space.
    Cause she likes to walk through my parking space to the door and she would like more room for her groceries. (There is a walkway directly next to my car on the other side, but seems she just doesn't want to use that. She'd prefer to walk through my space.) Unit 106. I told you this woman is insane.
  18. Knocked on my door late night, drunk and kept asking if I wanted to make out.
    I did not. Unit 103. And before you're TOO creeped out, he's 21 and lives there with his mom, he's harmless. But he also plays his music too loud...