How to tell if you're Basic Social Media Junkie

We all have a love hate relationship using social media. It requires having a balancing life offline as well as an online persona. Here are some way to tell if you're a Basic Common Poster.
  1. 1.
    You're A Whore and nothing more
    All your posts are selfies and you post them daily.
  2. 2.
    You post on social media like it's your own Dear Diary
    Newsflash: Everybody poops, everybody pees, and it's not something we want to read in our news feed. No reason to share or remind the world about how often, when and where you do your business. Somethings are just better left unseen.
  3. 3.
    You take selfies in your bathroom or worse a public restroom
    So classy and elegant. Read #2 again (no puns intended) Yeah we get it, mirror selfies are cool but maybe you should reconsider the fact that nobody wants to be reminded that you probably just took a shit a few minutes before taking those pics. Find a mirror in your bedroom if you so desire taking mirror selfies. Also don't forget to clean your room before taking selfies as you'll read in #4.
  4. 4.
    You post photos without considering what's in the background
    Seriously you think that's a good photo? Sure you look amazing but the dirty laundry and trash on the floor is tacky. Wow, that toilet in the background really enhances your eye color. 😒
  5. 5.
    You check-in on social media everytime you walk out the door
    Why do you feel like we should know your every move? Are you trying to convince people that you actually have an interesting life? You're not fooling anyone with at least half a brain. BTW you're making it easy for any potential stalker to track you down or break into your home when you are out. Think before you post! Seriously this is a safety risk.
  6. 6.
    You crave attention 24/7
    You post all day long. You might try to brag about yourself. If nobody cares, aren't bothered and ignores your posts, you'll create a sad or life threatening situation just to force people to "like" a status of yours. Validation of your existence is all you need.
  7. 7.
    It's impossible for you to secretly meet up with friends and not post about it
    Hanging out with your best friend again? Don't forget to tag your friend in a post. If you don't post about it, does that mean it never actually happened?
  8. 8.
    If you come down with a cold or a health issue you share all the graphic details in a post for many to see
    Why don't you just take a selfie of the bodily fluids instead? Seriously. You already created a mental image in my head of your situation. Now I want proof. That's right, I want to compare your pictures with the ones I imagined.
  9. 9.
    You only post about yourself
    You never have anything to say other than talk about yourself and what you been doing. You have nothing to say about current events if they don't concern you in anyway.