*Secret* Life Advice for Babies

Been there, done that. Take it from me, being a baby ain't no joke. Here's some tips "they" don't want you to know
  1. 1.
    If you need something, just say something.
    Crying doesn't make any sense if all you want is some food, or a diaper change. Learn to speak ASAP.
  2. 2.
    Grow up already
    Adults can be difficult to deal with, especially if they don't respect you. Being a baby your whole life is a waste of everyone's time. You need to face facts eventually and get older. Try it out and see how you feel!
  3. 3.
    Lose some weight
    People are always picking you up. Do your part by making it a little easier on them. Cut out the fatty foods.
  4. 4.
    Plan for retirement...now!
    Lots of babies make the mistake of not planning for their future. All it takes is a little bit of saving here and there. Set up a savings account that pulls a certain percentage every week from your checking. Soon enough you'll have amassed a small fortune.
  5. 5.
    Be Grateful
    Before you know it you'll wake up and have to change your own diaper and make your own food mush. Take a moment to appreciate what you have now, and the people who are there for you.