SOME BABY IS FAMOUS FOR HAVING HAIR AND I'M NOT HAVING IT

Inspired by a comment from @caiters at Easter dinner.
  1. So there's this baby that everyone is going gaga over because it (she? I'm not sure) has a bunch of hair.
  2. But I'm over here like, "Sure, you're kinda cute, Internet Baby, but don't think you're special."
  3. "In fact, you're kinda old news."
  4. "I was rocking that baby hair back in 1982. You just don't know about me because there wasn't any internet then. (And maybe because you're a baby who doesn't know about much of anything yet.)"
  5. Bye.